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Thursday, June 24, 2010

That's All

"...that's all I have." I heard him say apologetically. He dropped his head and let it hang for awhile before stealing glances at my reactions, as if I had one at that time. I couldn't think of anything to say and to offer any note of replies would have seemed too rhetoric.

I was young, we both were. He was exactly eleven days older than me. The time he asked for my hand in marriage, he was unemployed without a single ringgit to his name. We had just graduated, not too eager to work just as yet, well, he was not too excited about wading the river to get to his workplace in the virgin jungle of Sabah. And I wasn't too thrilled of the possibility of a long separation.


As a bride to be then, I had thought, money shouldn't be an obstacle to a matrimony. (yes, a young bride with heart shapes oozing from every pore of her skin) We promised to work and accumulate as much as we humanely could. After the wedding, he worked double shifts and I clocked triple hours teaching part time. We rented the cheapest house nearest to the University where I taught, so I could catch the students' bus posing as one ... till one day a student said ..."hi teacher!" audible enough for the driver to hear. ;o)

We lived moderately on our meagre income with no fridge, no bed, no cabinets, no racks except for the plastic ones with the zipper in the middle and an 8 inch tv placed on a brown box cum our storage compartment. The wedding presents were not much of our saviour, other than the iron and the few sets of dinner plates, we were not creative enough to turn the 5 sets of cocktail bowls into something usable.



He often asked me"...are you happy? you could have gotten married to that rich guy." "Which one?" I said "...there were too many" before I laughed a tear. There was none, never was. He was that rich guy, that guy, rich with his love for me, hence the choice.

And lately he frequently asks me again after 14 years, after frustrating days at work, after tiring hours of mending people's affairs, after disappointing misses at scoring goals "...are you happy? I haven't been bringing any good news for you."


"...you'll be glad to know that my demands are small. Say it's me that you'll adore, for now and evermore.

That's all, That's all."


Thank you so so much Tessa and Jules for the opportunity. I hope the cakes I made for both you and Amir will be immortalised here in this entry. This is my story, I know you have yours too, so I will let you tell the rest of the world in your blog alright Tess?



The words Amir had for Tessa written on the hantaran cupcakes

I can only give you love that lasts forever, And a promise to be near each time you call. And the only heart I own For you and you alone That's all, That's all... I can only give you country walks in springtime And a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall; And a love whose burning light Will warm the winter's night That's all, That's all. There are those I am sure who have told you, They would give you the world for a toy. All I have are these arms to enfold you, And a love time can never destroy. If you're wondering what I'm asking in return, dear, You'll be glad to know that my demands are small. Say it's me that you'll adore, For now and evermore That's all, That's all.

14 treats:

JulesMD said...

wiz, i sempat mengadmire je ur cakes this time round, coz they weren't mine to enjoy! hehe, but i understand tess tak makan pun, coz sayang... er, patut hr tu u buat all sugar je ek? takyah cake kat dlm artwork yg sgt lawa tu, surely tess wud simpan dlm glass box hingga akhir nanti... :)

zue said...

young bride, with heart shapes oozing out from every pore of her skin... I like that, Wiz...it's like reading Danielle Steele or any love story books, I ,too, share your story, the only transportation we had when we got married was.....our legs! our 'carkeys'(kakis), slowly we bought a Honda cup, followed by a small car when I got pregnant.I remembered both of us walking more than 15 minutes away, from the supermarket, carrying groceries bags in both hands, that was 15 years ago!The scenario was all too familiar, the small TV on a box, mattress on the floor without a bed, no dining table or sofa to sit on and slowly the house is filled up with things , I guess for most of us, love, is all that matters, to love and be loved.. is the most wonderful thing, others are bonus.....love this entry, your story, love this song, love the cakes, ...as ever....

The Stakeholder said...

haha... it's okay babe. i saved most of the important portions of the traveler cake such as the timepiece, the binoculars, the luggage tag...
and i finally got a taste of the choc cake beneath the beautiful artpiece. sedap gila! but diet still on so i only had a few bites. (big ones! hahaha).

as for the cuppies, they're still intact and it's more special coz it's from amir to me with the luuuuurve notes. so tu, mungkin sampai akhir hayat la (though amir's now itching to makan at least ONE!)we'll see.

and as usual, i can't thank you both enough for all you've done. hopefully the cakes (and the hantaran items) are indelibly stamped in both your blogs for all to admire (not because it's tessa's wedding cakes / hantaran but more for wiz' and julie's talents) and may both your rezekis be melimpah2... insyaAllah. amin. :)

luuuurve! xoxo.

Ho Ho Ho said...

mesti banyak baca Mills & Boon masa muda2 dolu...hahaha...

Beautiful cakes... :)

Wiz said...

Julie - Jules, if boleh makan pun, I tak bagi sebab you are on a sugar diet. So it was best that you didnt get to eat them phew! But thank you so much for accompanying me in my mental journey all the way, asking every other hour, how I was doing. Thanks.

Wiz said...

Zue - yes Zue literally. I am glad I went thru the hardship, rasa susah nak mulakan hidup. Sekarang pun susah jugak but better with a wiser ways of thinking, hopefully. But I regard that a life story created for me to write them one day as I am writing now of my cake stories with a little bit of perasan in the air ha ha ha. Thanks for dropping by Zue.

Wiz said...

Tess - Cakes are made to be consumed...right away. YOu haven't eaten them? I suggest you keep them in the freezer k, so you can have them later, much later this year. Again thanks for the trust in me. I was out of my wits thinking how to create the cakes.

Have a beautiful life ahead Tess with this song playing in the background as the reminder for Amir hehehe.

Wiz said...

Lisa - Mills and Boons? I never got the chance to even hold it in my hands. I am not a novel reader, neither am I a textbook reader hahahaha tu la sebabnya jadi pembuat kek sahaja. I have read perhaps not more than 6 novels in my entire lifetime, 4 of them were finished last year and this year. The other 2 was when I was in my teens kut. So I am quite surprised when quite a few people likened me to novel writers who I have never read before but it is a huge compliment nevertheless.

To me good writers can write fiction, I on the other hand can only write life experiences, ones that touch me deep.

Thanks so much for dropping by.

- azlin - said...

Ija, he was always the one..will always be..forever and ever..

Wiz said...

Kak Lin - Very much so. But sometimes he forgets and I am here to tell him again and again and again.

edi said...

those words almost brought me to tears! so romantic!

Wiz said...

I get teary eyes everytime Edi.

The Stakeholder said...

Hi again,

you guys are so funny. memang semua ala2 emo. but imagine me receiving the lyrics from him (which is COMPLETELY different from those i've received previously yang center around material things)... tak ke saya pun cair? and such honesty that poured out. he's the type of guy anyway and i am SO lucky that i got what i prayed for.

when i decided to say yes, i made a personal vow to stick together through thick and thin - may Allah bless us and help us out along the way. at the end of the day, everyone's right. marriage without all the experiences (hardship included) is worth nothing if you don't go through it together. and that's what makes couples an "US" kan? btw, just saw SiTC2 - i loved the watch inscription "me and you - just us two."

dah... saya plak nak emo. sheeesh... :)

anyway, wiz, keep on writing the stories, emo queen! :)

Wiz said...

Tess - Emo queen? hahahaha

Yes I am with the golden emo crown on my head. Bow before me my subject, bow.