While I sit quietly behind my work station, moulding little figurines which would star in their own show soon, thoughts of my incompetency bug me. I reckon this happens everytime I could not execute what I visualize onto the product. My mind would question why am I doing all these in the first place, begging me to surrender the project altogether. Questions like "...is this what I really want to do?" "...where am I going with this?" "...what am I trying to prove?" "...should I explore something else?" Heavy breathing follows suit, fingers still in motion, emotion in commotion, head in hanging position stretching the veins that have twisted into a knot. The water from the loose tap beside me drops melodiously as if tagging the rhythm in my mind. I could actually ink a melody from the tapping but thank goodness I know not how to write music, if not I would have probably jumped into that also. Like they say "an idle mind is a devils workshop",with ayatul kursi I tried to expel them, rid the uncertainties and abandon the insecurities. I have resigned to the idea of being "Jack of many traits but master of none" at least I am doing something, a consolation to my unruly thoughts.
As I completed my second figurine for the day, silence left through the front door. The sound of my son announcing his arrival from school filled the air, breaking the deafening stillness of the moment. The work stops instantaneously then and automatically another job resumes for the day. Sapphire, faded jeans, wake me up from this dream.