Monday, August 3, 2009

It Can't Rain Everyday

A shrewd man from the land of Wise once said "Honesty is the best policy", hence this forthright entry of everything bearing the same name.

I started this endeavour to first and foremost make a living, trying to be transparent in the way we earn simultaneously trying to run away from all those that are deviating. Life is hard as we eventually trampled on it right after our marriage. It was going for that ideal job and then came the purchasing of the house. From the very beginning we learnt that transparency only existed in the dictionary, decorous in nature, a big word for the unfathomed few. The more we treaded on it the more we found just the opposites.

"...maybe it isn't the best policy at all, this honesty thingy" I heaved the biggest sigh to my husband who was relating stories from his office... because it traps us down more than it pushes us to the surface. He has been humming this "It Can't Rain Everyday" drumming away as usual with eyes so deep, deeper than the deepest of seas. I felt his pain then as I am feeling it now as he leaves for work on the sometimes not so trusted motorbike of his. Many a time it did rain on him on the highway and sometimes pebbles did get into his shoes when he had to push his kaput bike all the way home from the highway. Sometimes I did feel like waiting for him in the rain just so he could not see the tears on my face.

When words got around at his office about this little thing I have baking in my oven, people distinguished themselves with mixed feelings. But the saddest would have to be when the superior questioned others if he had manipulated his office hours to help me deliver my cakes. If you have ordered from me, you would know of the disclaimer mentioning our delivery times which would only take place after office hours. We are, as we would like to think, honest people.

My husband's work entails a lot, physically and mentally. He is just another degree holder who is on a quest of self betterment by doing his Masters part time. At a University, a degree holder translates to errand boy who runs from one office to another in the mercy of those who are superior to you. But by no means he has the littlest of tasks, his work supersedes the work of any professors at any given time. He writes researches, presents them, train the professionals and the best thing gets to complete jobs incapable of completing by other people just because they feel like he doesn't get enough already. He is the MC, the first and the last man in a race, he is the everything. Initially he took this all in one single swift of a stride but after looking at his KPI(performance marking system graded subjectively by the superior) at the end of the term, he scored amongst the lowest, lower than those who never came for meetings or presented any papers or coordinated any courses or conducted any trainings. Since work overwhelms him, he struggles to complete his Masters, he is buried in his work, deeper and deeper each day.

Yes, he has a job, alhamdulillah and I am not complaining but complain all I do when people scrutinize and presume he cheats by having part time jobs outside, banking on his official office hours with jobs he was thought to earn big bucks from. It doesn't mean if they do it they must think he does it too. Well sadly he doesn't and honestly, all the job he has is the one and only at the University, the part time ones are all on me and me alone.

We are, as we would like to think, honest people.

I believe a man of multitude talents, with potentials to excel intellectually, aesthetically and morally plus a matching linguistic competence who wows the audience every time he takes centre stage has the world to offer others. I just hope his talents are discovered in due time. Like they say, it can't rain everyday. I know the sun is peeking behind the clouds. Great things will come, insyaAllah.

and if there is anyone from the University who would like to contest to what I have just written, please do so with me. My husband knows not what I have written here. He has nothing to do with this entry.

Thanks so much Farhana, Rafidah, Mastura and Zaitul.

13 treats:

Ahau - Dee said...

He is so lucky to have you .. hmmm ... I'm envy him.

edi said...

kak wiz,
kalau kita nak ambik kisah ape org kata, mmg susah hati.. pening kepala, stress and naik darah jadiknyer.. manusia ni fitrahnyer, sesetengahnyerlah, mmg tak boleh tengok org bahgia, senang n berjaya. pendek kata, kita akan berdengki. tp kalau dengki untuk kebaikan, untuk improve diri sendiri takpelah, tp ini, dengki pastu mulalah buat mcm2 untuk menjatuhkan org tu..

yg penting, kita tau diri kita and kita ikhlas. i dont know u personally, but reading your entries, i know you hv a true heart. just keep doing what's right and dont be stressed out with what others say.

just my 2 cents.

all the best.

Kitchen Guardian said...

Sordid those people, berat mata memandang berat lagi bahu memikul... Anote on the side, how i wish i cld just lepak @ yr hse even w/out d roast chick and be able to watch you bake and ice yr cakes, so mesmerizing.....sambil bfeed muhd that is, ha ha!

Juliana Mohd Daud said...

life's like that lah wiz... but God is great, don't worry, insyaAllah nanti you bukak franchise wilton satu, haa, baru jeles semua depa tu!

btw, i mimpi deroyan la semalam...!

Anonymous said...

Dear Wiz...

Org sentiasa nampak senang kita saja, none sees the hardship, the load, the pain we're carrying...
Org sentiasa tunding jari ke arah lain other than themselves...walaupun salah dia sendiri...
Baru je nak senang, org akan kata macam-macam...dengki is the exact word.
Your hubby is a lucky man to have you around...take care & support him when he's down. Insyaallah, 1 day, his day, your day will come :)

erghkkkk...I've been there, kinda know how you're feeling, esp bila kita tahu betapa our other half is working xtra hard & seikhlas hati but end of the day, buruk gak yg nampak walaupun bukan salah dia *sigh*

take care strong for your hubby :)

zue said...

Salam Wiz,
they said "kesabaran itu pahit, tetapi buahnya manis".
Hang in there. I still believe that honesty is the best policy, tho' not being practised by many but insyaAllah..
you take care and stand by our other half is what we should do, cos we are a team.

PG CakeCraft said...

hi wiz, couldn't stop fr saying a few words of comfort to you. the world is full of jealous souls who cannot see a person putting an honest day at work. they will scrutinize and criticize all our efforts but fail to see the hypocrisy within them. best is ignore them and their ill found insinuations. believe me, i've been there. btw, keep up with your work. ur cake decorations never fail to amaze me.

Lisajoehari said...

tears are flowing down me cheeks. i feel u, sis...mulut tempayan boleh di tutup.. it is such an unhealthy environment we're living in when people like to judge easily, when people like to accuse others just for the fun of it and people are being envious because they cant be you.

let them be. u have ur family and u have ur family and u have me and Aunty Yon who asks about u every single day she drops by here. give her a ring. i think she misses u hehe...

khalil said...

klu sy ad kereta, satu sampan buruk dan satu pulau, sy akn pergi ambik teacher kt rumah teacher..

then, i'll take u to my sampan yg saya salu park tepi pantai tu..

pstu, kita dayung sampai kt pulau tu..kat pulau tu ...

hurm yg penting sy akn buat teacher happpppy!!!

Wiz said...

Dee - Tang mana yang envy tu? tang badak berendam kut ye?

Edi - I don't think they are mendengki, they have nothing to be envious about anyway. Sometimes they just do not have anything better to say. I am ok but it pains to see the spirit of your other half wilting.

Jules - yea, life is full of that, sad kan? I tak nak bukak franchise la I nak buka a totally new brand, called Wizton, ok tak? lain kan, tak der langsung bunyi mcm Wilton, kan kan?

Nina - The worst feeling is to feel helpless kan Nina. I feel like marching to the office and just call out people's names for being not productive and who use the line " I tak tau nak buat kerja ni or I nak mengajar je boleh?" If nak mengajar je buatla mcm I, buat part time kan, tak menyusahkan sesiapa. I challenge those people! If you want to work, work whole heartedly. Oops sori ter let go kat you plaks(hoping orang2 yang berkenaan akan baca sebenarnya) ha ha ha.

Zue - Memang sgt pahit Zue. Sambil menunggu buah yang manis I dah makan berbakul manggis dulu. Jadila. Thanks for your comment, appreciate it.

PG CakeCraft - Thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment. Honestly I don't think they are jealous, maybe oblivious je of the situations. If they are uncertain, confront la face to face, I don't mind. Bring it on. It's you that they should feel envious about he he he coz you are so successful! Waydago!!

Lisa - Aaaw Lisa, mine are all dried up, I am only infused with anger which energy is used positively towards a more productive activity like caking.
Miss you guys much too. Tell Aunty Yon I hold her close to my heart, someone not only I adore but look up to.

Khalil - So sweet of you. Reading your comment has made me feel better, tak yah nak beli sampan and nak dayung all the way to Pulau....spooky. Thanks so much for your concern. You have made me happy already. Muahs.

Sha said...

askum akak, this is Sha. Dulu ada tempah dr akak for my engagement.

just keep doing what you think is right for the family and everything will turn out fine. Jgn stress ya!

alia said...

Wiz, I feel for you coz same thing going on with my hubby in the office to the extent of 'black magic' (in this day & age??!!) being involved. Unbelievable these people. Well, if we had a ringgit for every nasty thing people say & do to us, kaya raya ler kiter. Ahaks! Persevere, it really can't rain everyday

Wiz said...

Sha - Thanks for the wish. I am trying my damnest to ignore things which are going on before my eyes. But sometimes letting go via expressing myself here does wonders. I am alright, not stressed but moving on.

Alia - Sad kan those people and not to mention scary too. I hope all of us preservere. I feel like I'm hanging on to a twig instead of a sturdy branch though at times. Thanks for dropping by.